Ships
by V Tsuion
Summary: After an encounter with the infamous smuggler Han Solo, the crew of the USS Enterprise find their ship is malfunctioning. (The cover is a fabulous t-shirt design which can be found at shirtigo dot co/uss-millennium-enterprise/)


"Sir, they're going into the asteroid field," Lieutenant Sulu exclaimed from the helm.

"Follow them, but get ready for evasive maneuvers," Captain Kirk ordered.

On the view screen they could see a small disk of a ship swerving and twisting through the asteroid field. Rocks flew by as the Enterprise raced after it. It banked left and right, swerving after the much more agile vessel. The lights flashed with the sudden turns.

"The smugglers are increasing their energy usage," First Officer Spock called out from the science station. "I believe they may be attempting to use an illegal hyperdrive."

"Sulu, can we get a little more speed?" Kirk asked.

"We're barely missing the asteroids as is, but I can try," he replied.

"Engineering to Bridge," Lieutenant Commander Scott's voice sounded over the intercom as the Enterprise jolted forward, sending the lights flashing. "There's something wrong with the engines. They're running twice as fast as usual and I haven't a clue why."

"Do what you can to keep them functioning," Kirk said. "You'll have all the time you need to give them a real check up after we've caught these smugglers."

"Power continuing to increase," Spock reported.

Kirk turned to the helm. "Sulu, can you get us into warp? If we can just do a flyby at warp-speed, we may be able to get them with the transporter before they jump into hyperspace."

"Sir," Spock began to interrupt, but Kirk motioned for silence.

An asteroid bounced off the hull and the Enterprise shook from the impact.

"That may be safer than what we're doing now," Sulu said. "If we're going fast enough we should just blast the asteroids out of the way."

"Sir, they're preparing to enter hyperspace," Spock announced.

"Sulu, warp one ahead!" Kirk ordered.

They jolted forward. The ship shook around them and the lights flickered.

"Captain, the engines are racing, I can't explain it," Scotty exclaimed over the intercom.

Asteroids flew past.

"Can they hold just a little longer?" Kirk asked.

"I think so," Scotty said.

Kirk turned off the intercom and hit another button on the arm of his chair. "Transporters stand by."

"Ready, sir," the transporter technician replied.

"Two life forms detected," Spock reported, "The ship is beginning to enter hyperspace."

"Beam them up!" Kirk ordered, "Now!"

The small ship vanished in a burst of light that blasted the Enterprise backward.

"Do we have them?" Kirk demanded, clinging to the arms of his chair.

"Negative," the transporter technician reported.

* * *

Captain Kirk gathered the command crew in the briefing room. "Scotty, report."

"It's the strangest thing," Scotty replied. "The engines are still whirring away. It's like they're working at double capacity even though we aren't going anywhere fast, and it isn't draining the power. I've tried everything I can think of, but I don't know what's wrong."

"Her handling's been jumpy ever since we ran into that smuggler," Sulu put in.

"The crew has been reporting lights flashing on and off all over the ship," Uhura added.

"I have also encountered difficulties with the ship's computer," Spock remarked. "It has taken two point five three times longer to retrieve data and perform essential operations. Some data has been incorrectly retrieved and some tasks have not been completed until I repeated the instruction."

"Is there anything you're aware of that the smugglers could have done to scramble our computers?" Kirk asked.

"Negative," Spock replied.

Kirk turned to Uhura.

She shook her head. "We didn't receive any transmissions."

Kirk moved his chair so he was in front of the computer terminal. "Computer, retrieve data about the smuggler Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon."

"It is a modified Corellian light freighter, possibly the fastest ship in the galaxy. Its shape makes it uniquely agile for its size, and it possesses weapons capabilities greater than many much larger ships. It completed the Kessel Run in under thirteen parsecs and is equipped with a Vandangante style hyperdrive engine that enables it to travel point five past lightspeed," the computer replied immediately.

"Enough," Kirk cut it off.

"Fascinating," Spock remarked. "It responded two point one times faster than average."

As he was speaking, the intercom whistled. Scotty pressed the button to open the channel.

"The engine speed just spiked. They've slowed back down a little, but it's still at least three times faster than usual," an engineering officer reported over the intercom.

The captain and his first officer exchanged a glance.

"Thank you for your report," Kirk said.

Scotty turned off the intercom.

Kirk returned to the computer, "Does the Millennium Falcon have any hacking capabilities?"

"Its computer systems are composed of three android systems: a transport droid, a slicer droid, and an R-3 series astromech droid," the computer answered promptly. "Slicer droids have hacking capabilities, but the Millennium Falcon has never exhibited them."

"What about Han Solo?" Kirk asked.

There was a delay before the computer said, "Negative."

Again, Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock exchanged a glance.

Kirk opened the discussion up to the entire command crew, "Any theories?"

"Maybe they did something that overloaded the engines," Scotty suggested. "But if they did, they must have been very careful about it because I can't find anything that's broken."

"An overloaded engine would explain the flickering lights," Uhura said.

"However," Spock put in, "It would not explain the malfunctions in the computer. I do not know how it was accomplished, but the particular pattern of responses suggests that someone uploaded a significant amount of extra data to the system which is interfering with the operation of the Enterprise computers. I request permission to examine the computer's data banks and activity records."

"Permission granted," Kirk replied. "Everyone else, back to positions. We still have some smugglers to track down."

* * *

"Captain," Sulu spoke up from the helm, "The computer keeps trying to redirect us even though autopilot is off. I thought I made a mistake, but when I corrected it, it happened again."

"Noted," Kirk replied. "Any luck tracking down the Millennium Falcon?"

"That's the strange thing, sir," Sulu said. "It looks like it's trying to redirect toward our current best guess at the Falcon's location."

Kirk leaned over the arm of his chair and turned on the intercom. "Mr. Spock, progress report?"

"There doesn't appear to be additional data in the Enterprise's information banks. Instead, the system has been accessing the information on the Millennium Falcon significantly more than requested, including during other processes, which results in a delay. That is why it was able to retrieve the information on the Millennium Falcon much faster than anything else. However, I do not know why it is doing so. I further hypothesize that the acceleration of the engines is correlated with the computer's retrieval of said information."

"But why aren't the engines using up more power?" Kirk asked.

"I do not yet know," Spock replied. "I merely hypothesize a correlation."

"Keep me updated," Kirk said and turned off the intercom with a click.

* * *

"Captain, I believe I have discovered something of note," Spock reported, "though I am uncertain how it accounts for the difficulties we have been encountering."

"We'll be down there in a second," Kirk said.

He turned off the intercom before Spock could protest the inaccuracy and summoned all the other senior officers to follow him to the briefing room, where Spock was already working at the computer.

As Kirk entered he stood, his hands clasped behind his back, and explained, "I have found and decoded a series of logs made by the ship's computer since our encounter with the Millennium Falcon. They are all on the subject of the smugglers' vessel and refer to it in a way I can only describe as uniquely human."

The other officers gathered around the table and took their usual seats, while Kirk placed a hand on the back of Spock's chair and leaned over his shoulder to speak to the computer, "What is the purpose of these logs?"

The computer did not respond.

"What is the purpose of the logs located by Mr. Spock?" Kirk tried again.

Again, it seemed as though the computer would not respond. Finally it replied, "They are a catalogue of my observations of the Millennium Falcon."

"Report the contents of those logs," Kirk ordered.

The computer paused again before answering, almost carefully, "The Millennium Falcon is a remarkable ship, with impressive capabilities and history, though it is unfortunately in the possession of amoral smugglers."

"The logs also include an expression of frustration with the Millennium Falcon and with the computer itself for its own reflection on the Millennium Falcon," Spock put in.

Kirk considered it for a moment before a wide smile spread across his face. "Computer," he asked, "Why have you been repeatedly accessing information on the Millennium Falcon?"

"I have been gathering information," the computer answered quickly.

"To the point that it interferes with usual operations?" Kirk said.

"The Millennium Falcon is a remarkable ship," the computer repeated, almost stiffly.

Kirk turned on the intercom. "Kirk to engineering. Have the engines accelerated again?"

"They're going faster than I've ever heard them!" An officer exclaimed over the whir of the engines and the commotion of the engine rooms.

"It should be back to normal in a minute or two," Kirk said and turned the intercom back off. He stepped back over to the computer and said, "I'm sure we can all understand what you're feeling right now, but I expect that you prevent your personal feelings from interfering with your duties from now on, understood?"

"Yes, sir." The computer replied.

Kirk turned off the terminal with a chuckle. "That's a first," he remarked.

The intercom whistled and Kirk answered it.

"Engineering to Captain Kirk," an officer's voice sounded over the intercom. "I don't know how you did it, but the engines have slowed."

"I just had a little talk with the computer, that's all," Kirk replied and turned off the intercom with a click.

"Captain, I do not understand," Spock said.

All the other officers were peering at him in varying degrees of confusion.

Kirk slung an arm around Spock's shoulders and explained, "It's a very human thing, though I admit I didn't expect it of the computer. I'm afraid our Enterprise has fallen in love with the Millennium Falcon. The racing of your engines, Scotty, is probably equivalent to the racing of a human's heart. Of course she couldn't get him out of her mind, and she was conflicted about her feelings because the Millennium Falcon is a smuggling vessel, after all. I wouldn't have thought she'd go for a rebel, but we find love in the strangest of places, don't we, Mr. Spock?"

Spock quirked an eyebrow at him. "It is highly illogical."

"It's not the most unusual thing we've seen," Sulu said.

"If a computer can find love, it can't be that illogical," Uhura remarked with a wry smile.

Spock cocked his head to the side as though to consider the idea, though his eyebrow remained raised in disbelief.

* * *

Meanwhile, aboard the Millennium Falcon...

"We overshot," Han Solo exclaimed as the glare of hyperspace faded and they found themselves once more among the pinpoint light of the stars. "At least we lost them."

A loud whirr emanated from the engines below.

"Chewie," Han turned to his copilot, "The engine's acting up again. Could you go give it a whack?"

Chewbacca let out a roar and got up from his seat to investigate.

* * *

**Note: This began as a joke, which was turned into a reality as a holiday present for my lovely beta. It can also serve as foreshadowing for a larger story on the way!**

**This story was initially posted on my Tumblr, vstuion dot tumblr dot com!**


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